Search This Blog

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Let us all pray for Camille Grammer...

God bless her hard working soul.  This poor, unfortunate woman has it tough.  My heart truly goes out to her.  It's not that I think celebrities (she's married to Kelsey, in case you didn't know) don't have problems, I just didn't realize the magnitude of their problems.  How. Does. She. Do. It?  Well, I tell ya, she's an absolute inspiration to me.  Makes me so thankful that I don't have to try to handle 2 half-grown children with only 4 nannies and a house manager.  I was so happy to see that she was able to get away to Hawaii and get some alone time.  She looked stressed, and I'm sure she could use the rest...~tires screeching~

HOLD UP, WAIT A MINUTE, let me throw a BEATING in it!  (Sorry, the high school cheerleader in me came out of nowhere!  She does that when I'm overly excited.)  Is she kidding?  I know she's not, but I am ready to put a WWF-sized SMACKDOWN on this woman.  She needs to be absolutely ASHAMED of herself!!  Now I am blessed (that's what they tell me.) to be able to stay home with my children, and I only have 2, which contrary to the popular 80's t.v. show...IS ENOUGH!  But as crazy as these children make me, I would not be able to come up w/ enough stuff for TWO nannies, much less FOUR!  And my kidlets are 1 and 4!  If they were the ages of her kids, looks like 8 & 9ish, I'd be having a freakin' party! 

Other than make a sandwich and get some juice...what do these nannies do all day?  I tease about wanting a nanny, what mom doesn't.  I am known to use the phrases, "Where's the Nanny?", "Call the Nanny!", "I'm going to fire that freakin' Nanny!".  But in reality, I wouldn't let her take my kids to the doc...I want to be there.  I wouldn't let her get up with my kids in the middle of the night...they need their Mommy, and I need to see that they are ok.  I guess I'd let her change a diaper or two, maybe dish out some raisins and juice...that would be nice.  But mostly, I think my nanny would sit here while my kidlets nap so I can run to Target.  Not really worth paying someone for that.  I guess I could have Diaper Nanny, Juice Nanny, Sandwich Nanny, and Nose-Wipin' Nanny.  But do I really need this many people standing around staring at me?  Listening to me while I talk to myself?  ("Tell me you aren't going to do something, when Mommy tells you to.  You MOVE when I say move!  Who do they think they are talking to? I brought them into this world, and I can take them out!) I say NAY!  I like to keep 'crazy' behind closed doors, thankyouverymuch.

Maybe Camille is good for us REAL moms.  Those of us that wouldn't trade our kids for a million bucks, but wouldn't give you a nickel for another one.  The moms in the trenches who have to get the kids up, out the door...oops, the baby pooped...back in the house, change the diaper...out the door...forgot the lunchbox, pack the lunch...out the door...4 year old has to pee, unbuckle carseat, back in the house...out the door. ( I'm not really out the door yet but I could do this all day, and I have. So let's just stop here, shall we?)  If it weren't for Camille, to remind us what a great mom really looks like, we might just be floating aimlessly out in the world.  Camille has given us purpose!!  Focus!!  Drive!!  Yes, DRIVE...as in, "let's DRIVE to Camille's house and punch her in the face!"  I kid.  I wouldn't waste the gas.

But one can't help but wonder, when Camille is in her golden years...how many nurses will her children hire?  

13 comments:

  1. Oh, Shari...I agree with you. My eyes were rolling so often at Camille Grammar that I thought they might permanently stay like that. Four nannies!!!! Four! And a house manager! But, you know, she does so much. She is so fake!

    ReplyDelete
  2. What until Adam is potty trained and then you can skip that one more "back inside" trips and let him pee on the front lawn.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Amen!! She makes me CRAZY!!!! I just ranted about her on Rene's FB page before I read your rant!!! Love it!!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I just shared the link to your blog on my FB Fan page. I hope lots of people come follow you!!! You are hilarious!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. I know you'll probably hate this, but I'm now following your blog! You are HILARIOUS! :) LOOOVE this post!!

    FOUR nannies?! You've got to be kidding me! AND she get to go on vacation to Hawaii?! Oh man, her life is SOO hard!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Not at all Maria! I'm honored. I know our time is valuable so thanks for being here!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Thanks to you, too, Stephanie!

    ReplyDelete
  8. This is perfect!! I just sat down to watch to pre-recorded episodes of the "housewives.." (only because of an extra long nap time) I felt completely guilty for wasting that much time but oh well...anyway, I only watch because I am completely appalled by these women! But at the end of the day, it is there children that I feel sorry for. No one should have children so that they can be "tokens" and to some of these women, it seams that is all there children are to them. super sad...hey, I'll pay for the gas if you drive!!!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Holy SHIZ - I have been so bummed that I finished my last Chelsea Handler book and have nothing to make me laugh. Then my friend Annie posts on her FB page that I must read your blog. I'm so not sad anymore! Thank you for being warped and making me laugh!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Traci!! Wow!! What a compliment. I shall do my best to fill the void left by the honorable, Ms. Chandler. :)

    ReplyDelete
  11. Your blog was recommended by a friend on facebook, and I'm rolling. You are hilarious. My favorite Camille quote so far has to be "I just have a Jesus complex". Seriously?!

    ReplyDelete
  12. *chants* Book! Book! Book! Book!

    ReplyDelete
  13. A friend recommended your blog on facebook, so this is my first time reading you and I was totally thinking like Amy O...you could/should write a book and get paid for you humor!

    ReplyDelete

There was an error in this gadget