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Thursday, February 24, 2011

The Penis Crusher...

So I'm doing this Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred...or it is doing me.  Haven't quite worked that out yet.  Not a big fan of Jillian.  Personally, I think she's a man, baby.  She's one of those chicks that acts like she is pissed she wasn't born a dude.  Like she is always trying to prove that she is tough.  I noticed during my 'shredding' that she wasn't wearing a wedding ring.  BIG SURPRISE!!!  Let me save her years of therapy and break it down for her...HEY JILLIAN!  YOU SCARE PEOPLE!  

Which brings me to a question I have always had.  Why do some women feel the need to act so tough?  Do they think that it is attractive to a man?  If a woman acts like a man to attract a man...wouldn't she be attracting another woman?  I mean, a man is a man so if he is heterosexual, why would he want a woman who acts like a man?  He wants a woman to be a woman, right?  It all gets very confusing at this point.  I once had a friend who was like this and I never understood it.  She would pine away, wanting a man...need a man...gotta have a man...then when she would snag herself a man, she would act like a MAN. She would put on this tough-guy act and get so mean and bitchy, like she was going to make this guy pay for the fact that she has gone so long w/ out a man.  And guess what...no more man.  I watched this happen several times and the guy would just look at me like "WTH?".  I would just shrug my shoulders as if to say, "Sorry, dude. No clue."  Needless-to-say, no longer friends w/ The Penis Crusher, as she was affectionately known.  And she has yet to marry...hmmm...imagine that.   I think her story was that she had been hurt so many times before, yadda yadda yadda.  At some point you just have to put on your big girl panties and say hey, whether a guy stays or leaves, I'm going to be ok.  But while he is here, let's have a good time.  Of course, it took my first husband cheating on me and me leaving to come to this epiphany that being alone is A-OK!  I think if you can hit that phase before you get married, all the better.  It just helps you leave the excess baggage at the door.  I don't worry about my husband leaving me because if he did, I'd be ok.  I'd be sad for a while, but I know I'd be ok.  I think that makes me a better wife, actually.  Takes the pressure off of both of us.  I'm not clingy, he's not clingy.  No cling. 

But back to my shred!  So I'm feeling these same Penis Crusher vibes from Jillian, is all I'm trying to say.  And as for the shredding...well, it's only day 3 so at this point I'm really just more of a rough chop.   :)
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