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Monday, July 19, 2010

I have a problem.

Like I have to tell YOU that.  But seriously, I think there is something screwy in my brain that I can get so much joy from dishes.  LOVE DISHES!  Love them.  Love.  And yesterday while perusing Pier 1 Imports, in a purely supportive role (my sister was shopping), I ran across THIS...

Are you seeing this??  It is a cookie jar!!  COOKIE. JAR.  And it's a CUPCAKE!  (Note the wine in the background.  I could have moved it aside, but it too, brings me joy. So he stays.)  And you may have noticed that this cookie jar is no longer in the store.  That's my counter.  In case you didn't know.

I think for you to fully understand the depths of this joy, I must take you back.  A flashback if you will.  Think LOST, without all the angst...

Two or three years ago I ran across THE cutest dessert plates at Sur La Table.  They were SO cute that I had to have 2 sets!  Well, technically 3 sets because I felt that my sister needed one.  Well, technically I ordered like 6 sets because some were chipped & I became obsessed w/ unchipped plates.  It was quite the process (similar to the Soup Cookbook incident of 2010 that I won't get into right now.) SO CUTE that I bought this gift for her 3 months before her birthday and saved it!  You should know that I am not good at saving gifts!  But this one was so worth it.  Are you ready?  :)  (I'm not feeling your excitement.  Step it up, please.)

TADAAAAAAA!!  :)  Can you stand it?!!  Cuz I almost can't STAND IT!!  And did you notice?...Did. You. Notice?  LOOK!...

Ditto taddaaaaaaaa!  It is exactly the same as...the...cookie...jar!  I've had these plates for over 2 years and the cookie jar was at PIER ONE, of all places!! You can't find these plates or this cookie jar anywhere online!  It's like they were made just for me and now they are gone.  I walked around the store holding it, caressing, petting, smiling.  The employees kept asking to hold it at the register for me.  No thank you.  We are fine.  :)

Now let us have a moment of silence and gaze upon all that is...Cupcakeville...


As if my heart could take any more, imagine this cookie jar and these plates on top of my birthday table runner I made for the kids...


Have you ever been happier than you are at this moment?  I know, me too. :)

My little greeter...

 I didn't pull into the garage last night.  So this morning, when I was half asleep, looking for the extra gallon of milk in the garage fridge, this is what I ran into.  Scared the crap out of me...


Then it made me giggle.  I luv that gimpy fish.

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Love me...love my balls.

I had no idea that other people did not decorate their antenna's with balls.  This has caught me completely unawares.  Is it because I live fairly close to Disneyland?  There is definite ball pressure in my neck of the woods.  Especially amongst fellow Mommies.  Don't deny it...you know who you are.  I see you looking upon my balls w/ envy.  Hey, it's no secret where to get them.  You just have to put forth a little effort.  And by effort, I don't mean STEALING.  There is currently an Amber Alert out on my Tinkerbell.  Some bastard ripped her from her perch shortly after her movie was released.  But Mommy still holds out hope & I'm keeping the dream alive.  COME HOME, TINK!  I thought I saw her once on the 101, but this Tink was all faded and dried out.  Her face was cracking and I could barely look at her. :(  Here she is in her Christmas outfit.  ~sniff, sniff~ Isn't she beautiful?  ~whispers~ Mommy loves you!




 
This brings me to a note about ball etiquette.  People, you don't just slap a ball on your antenna and leave it there to rot!  If you are going to just leave them up there for the sun to bake to oblivion, well then you just don't deserve to have a ball!  You must follow proper ball rotation, so as to avoid this rookie move.  This will require multiple balls, because how are you supposed to rotate if you only have 1?  I can't even imagine only
having one.  Concept is completely foreign to me. 
 
So, here's a hypothetical...it is March, spring is dawning, birds are singing...what do you do?  Well, couple of options...you can celebrate spring w/ a lovely Flower Mickey, OR you can put up Bunny Mickey (of which there are 2 varieties.  Use your own judgment, but I prefer the all-white standard Mickey Bunny as opposed to the modern Flop-Eared Mickey w/ the freaky face.  But I'm a traditionalist and enjoy the classics.  Whatever blows your skirt up.) 


 



Now, since Easter is a shorter time span than spring, I would probably opt for Bunny Mickey until the day/week after Easter, and then whip out Flower Mickey until mid May.(notice that I have 2 varieties.  But then again, I'm a professional. Don't put too much pressure on yourself right out of the gate, Rome wasn't built in a day.)   Around mid-May we prepare for Memorial Day w/ Uncle Sam Mickey.  Beauty of Uncle Sam Mickey (not pictured, currently MIA...trying not to panic!) is that he is relevant from Memorial Day until the 4th of July.  Technically, I guess you could keep him for the entire summer since Labor Day isn't far off, but then that would fly in the face of the previously mentioned 'ball rotation'.  You are running the risk of Uncle Sam Mickey becoming cracked and blistered.  And nobody wants that.  So again, I would recommending going to something summery and whimsical after the 4th.  Maybe a Princess ball, or a Classic Mickey ball w/ the sparkly ears. Here's my latest 'non-holiday specific' ball.


(Truthfully, summer is an awkward time for balls as Disney has yet to come up with a ball that I feel captures the essence of summer.  I have some ideas for Beach Mickey, complete w/ zinc oxide on his nose, possibly a snorkel.  If only the powers that be would return my calls.)  
 
 
 
STOP THE PRESSES! Ok, I am shaking a little bit right now because in my effort to provide you w/ visuals, I came across this little jewel on eBay.  Be. Still. My. Heart.  It is the perfect combination of my love for balls AND cupcakes.  Sweet, merciful Jasper. 
 
You people are costing me a fortune!  Look at thissssssssssssss...
DISNEY MICKEY MOUSE SUPERMAN FLY CAR ANTENNA 
TOPPER-NEW 
and he's allll mine! :)  (I do NOT need an intervention...I do NOT need an intervention.) But I believe I do need a moment...I'm tingling with excitement...can't think...deeeeeep breath.  Whew.


So hopefully now you will understand my love of balls.  I only hope that revealing this underground Mommy secret will not get me kicked out of the Club.  (see what I did there?  Club?  Totally unintentional!  Get it?  Mickey Mouse CLUB?!  lol  Oohhh I crack myself up. :)  )

~crickets~  Hello?  Is this thing on?



Friday, July 16, 2010

Got ball?

YES WE DO!!! :)   As you can see, I had a multitude of balls to choose from.  Although I would LOVE to hang Bunny Mickey from the rafters, just for his ridiculous-ness, I couldn't imagine driving in to greet him each day.  And then...one spoke to me. (Pssst! This is the part where you scroll down for the big reveal)


Helloooo luvahhhhh!

So I got out my handy-dandy tool kit.  Ah, well...I got a needle and thread.  And a tack.  I guess it brought out the MacGiver in me. 

 
 Figure I can see those big-ass eyes comin' at me from a mile away. 

Ok, I just realized I've got a fish on a hook.  TOTALLY didn't see that coming.  Honest.  Like it just hit me right now.  :)  I so funny.

Everybody FREEZE!

STOP RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE...look around you...and tell me...do you see THIS? (minus the rip.  How did that get there?  It's all a blur.)


 Here...take a closer look...






Do you see that?  What that says?  It's manna from heaven, that's what it is.  And I cannot find them!  Well, I found this one.  But it was in a mall kiosk and it was the last one!  Target doesn't have it...Albertson's doesn't have it...VONS doesn't have it.  I'm throwin' myself on the mercy of the court!  SOMEONE SEND ME SOME!!

Please excuse me while I go hide my head in shame.  ~mustn't let the crazy show...mustn't let the crazy show...~

Today I launch...OPERATION HANGING BALL!

The time has come, dear people.  If only my computer would download my pics (having an issue & I don't want to talk about it. Ugh.) I could show you some of the balls that are in the running.  I decided to tackle this project sans hubby.  I figure, I've got Disney antenna balls, thread (being the quilter that I am...was...whatever!), and thumb tacks.  What more is needed?  Well, maybe a ladder.  Guess I could climb on the hood.  NO, better go w/ a ladder because the old gray mare, she ain't what she use to be.  Ok, I'm off!  I'll be back to tell the tale! :)

Thursday, July 15, 2010

So here it goes...

The story about last night at the Zoovies.  One thing I never expected with motherhood was being more excited about taking Kaitlyn to do kid-stuff than she was.  I never thought my 2 or 3 or 4 year old would turn into Debbie Downer. Who is this kid and WHO IS HER MOTHER!!  Surely not me!!  I love to go places and do fun stuff, and LORD knows those moments are few and far between w/ a baby.  I always look forward to doing this stuff and seeing it through the eyes of my child.  Pbbbtttthhhhh!!  (that was the best raspberry I could muster)  Anyone have any kids they want to lend me?  

It started out fine, a one hour drive to Santa Barbara w/ no traffic!  She was asking for ice cream so I got her a little bit on the ride up.  Fun, right?!  Go MOM!  Half way there I get the first ever..."Are we there yet?".  Oh geez!  Should have been my first clue.  But she rallied and was super excited when we pulled into the parking lot!  We had a great time looking at the animals on our way to the grassy area.  I paid a little extra so she could jump in the bounce house.  Again...YAY MOM! 

We head up to the grass and that's when it started...there was the faintest stench of animalness.  Kaitlyn plugs her nose immediately & makes this squishy face, "Bom, ids dinky."  Yeah, yeah, kid.  I know.  You'll get used to it.  "No Bom, id don't dmell dood."  I was PRAYING for a breeze!  (and let me take this moment to tell you that it was the most PERFECT Santa Barbara evening at the beach that you could imagine!  It was 72* at 8pm!!)  I tried to distract her.  They had Madagascar beanie babies!  Hey Kaitlyn, want one?  "Do dhanks." (still holding her nose.  Sheesh!)  What kid doesn't want a Beanie Baby?!!  So I got one to take home to Adam.

I find a great spot and get all set up.  I have the blanket, the chair, the quilt, licorice, the works!   Kid still won't let go of her nose.  FINALLY we get a slight breeze and she seems to forget about it.  Then she wants popcorn.  Didn't want popcorn when there wasn't a line.  Now, suddenly, the urge for corn is overwhelming her.  Ok, off to stand in line.  We finally get the $6 popcorn in a collector tub, (give me a break), and head over to stand in the drink line.  Takes for-EVER!!  It is almost our turn and Kaitlyn tells me she doesn't want the popcorn.  She hasn't had ONE BITE yet.  Doesn't want it.  (I controlled my urge to dump the whole bucket right there in the trash!) That was the whole point of the drink, to wash down the corn.  So NOW I'm pissed!  Ok, no corn?  Then no drink!  We leave the line and go sit down.  She is crying of course, saying she's thirsty.  Well, the movie is 90 minutes long so she can deal until we get to the car.  I probably should have gotten the drink, but at the zoo they don't have lids or straws and I didn't want to deal w/ balancing that drink if it wasn't really necessary.  And without the corn...NOT NECESSARY!

Movie starts, she's acting happy, sitting in my lap.  There's a HUGE screen on the lawn, weather is perfect, seats are great, sun is setting, and I'm feeling good!  45 minutes into the movie..."I want to go home".  WTH?!!  I'm zero to pissed in 2 seconds.  Fine!  I packed that crap up so fast it made her head spin and we were OUTTA THERE!  Freakin' kid ruined my fun! I asked if she had fun..."yes"...do you want Mommy to bring you back for another movie next week?..."No, you can bring Adam."  $*%&@

Now she usually is in bed around 8:30pm, but most nights she'll sing in her bed until at least 9:15pm or 9:30.  Some nights she's not in bed until 9 and then I still hear her around 10.  So I thought, big whoop, we sit and watch a movie until 9:30/9:45 and she snoozes on the way home.  Well apparently, she is sleepier in the evening than I am aware.  She fell asleep in the car half way home.  Oh, after downing half of a bottle of water.  :(  So I guess she was thirsty, but I'm telling you, in my state of mind,  if I would have got that drink and she would have refused it...let's just say we wouldn't even have stayed for the opening credits.  Mama don't play!

So there you have it, in all it's glory.  Everything about the Zoovies is fantastic, unless you are my daughter. If you have the means, you should check it out!  I'm still holding out hope for Adam, but in my experience w/ Kaitlyn, that kid ruins every fun thing I ever try to do for/with her.  Mama needs an aspirin after re-living that event.  Thank you and good-night.

Friday, July 2, 2010

Ode to a Ceiling Fan...

Oh ceiling fan, high up in the air,
didn't know you were spinning, forgot you were there.

You do me the favor of keeping me cool,
when you wacked at my fingers, I felt like a fool.

When one has a stature, as tall as mine,
you keep me in check when I get out of line. 

Raising my arms to put on my top,
you inform in a hurry, your blades will not stop.

So I bid you respect, give you your due,
now I'm off to get Band-Aids for my little boo-boo.

Amen.
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