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Sunday, April 17, 2011

Stop staring at me!

Death to the highchair!! Seriously, I'm over it. That flippin' thing has been in my face since November 2005. Mind you, my first child wasn't born until the end of Feb. 2006. And babies don't sit in highchairs until they are at least 6 months old...which would be August...of 2006!

Right about now you are asking yourself, "Why would the highchair be set up in November BEFORE the baby was born?". To which I would reply, "WHAT'S YOUR POINT?!" It's because I'm an over anxious pain in the ass, that's why!! It was our first baby gift and it arrived on the doorstep in November. So of course, being who I am, I sat my pregnant butt down on the floor and put the damn thing together IMMEDIATELY!! Not realizing it was the size of my first car...and my apartment was not much bigger than my first car. Not realizing you can't take these mothers apart once they are put together! Don't get me wrong, it is a beautiful highchair. It was the chosen ONE. The highchair that was to fulfill all of my highchair dreams. The one that was so perfect in it's perfection that it would inspire my child to crave brussel sprouts and organic legumes. You know, THAT highchair.

So here we are, 5 1/2 years, 5,682 meals later and I want to light the mother effer on FIRE!! But realistically, I probably have at least 6 months left. I will have to suck it up. I think I can...I think I can...and then I'm gonna beat it...I'm gonna pound it with a mallet...except I don't have a malllet. I will go BUY a mallet, THEN I will pound it within an inch of it's life! I shall put on my big boots and kick the crap out of it...and it will be glorious. Just thinking about it gives me the warm fuzzies. :) Babycrapbegone!!
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