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Friday, August 27, 2010

I am missing a gene.

The gene that causes some people to need to be needed.  I do not need needing.  Don't want needing, although I wouldn't mind some kneading...shoulders are kinda tight, but I digress.  Some mothers love this feeling, of being needed.  When my 4 year old says, "I can do it, Mama.  I don't need help", my heart soars. :)  Could it be the constant, never ending fatigue that makes me want to jump up and slap my granny, you ask?  Possibly.  Or it could be the non-stop feeling of being pecked to death by a chicken, the hanging on my shirt, wrapped around my leg, screeching, pulling at my hair, and slapping at my face (that would be the baby, not the 4 year old!) that makes me long for my children's  independence?  Probably.  Cold hearted?  Never.  I love them deeply and completely, but please stop touching me. :)

Tuesday, August 24, 2010


There is currently a phenomenon taking place across America and your roving reporter is here to bring it to you!  Don't be fooled by media propaganda!  The recession is apparently all in our imaginations, because although "my call is very important" to them, they are "currently experiencing high call volumes & longer wait times".   Who is 'them' you ask?  Well, apparently it is EVERYONE!  EVERY flingin' flangin' company from here to the Appalachians is experiencing 'high flippin' call volume'!  Phone company, cable company, refrigerator repairman, and even freakin' QVC!! (Yeah, I said QVC!  So what?!  Wanna fight? I you?)  So business must be good, huh?  Since everybody seems to be so busy!  Or are the millions who are out of work sitting at home on the phone calling these companies because they are lonely and need someone to talk to?  Here's a about HIRING some of these out of work Americans to man your phones?!!  Seems to be a desperate need, unless you think it is good customer service to keep a woman on HOLD FOR 25 MINUTES WHO HAS 2 LITTLE KIDS?!!!!!!  Oh, and don't think I didn't write your name down MR. DAVID, aka Customer Care Specialist?!!!  I got your specialist right here!!

And I'm breathing...I'm breathing...release...relent...relinquish...recoil...rebar...wth?... reheat?...ok, moving on!  I'm not an idiot. (Shut up!)  I know they are not really experiencing a 'high volume of calls'.  They've just laid off 80% of their staff and are leaving the normal volume of calls up to Skippy and Mr. David, Customer Care Specialist.  So just don't lie to me.  That's what ticks me off!  When that freakin' recording says OVER and OVER that I'm special, they love me, the sun rises and sets on me...blah, blah, blah, it makes me want to HURT SOMEONE.  Meanwhile, I've got a crick in my neck from wiping butts and making peanut butter sandwiches w/ the phone in my ear!  I would much rather hear the truth..."Due to the fact that business is currently sucking, we've got 2 teenagers w/ attitudes who'd rather be anywhere but here (and have no authority to solve your problems) answering our phones because we only have to pay them in sandwiches and Jamba Juice.  We've asked them to please give a crap and speak as though they don't have a mouth full of marshmallows and are on triple the legal dose of Valium, but they are teenagers, what can ya do?!  Please rest assured that when business improves, we will hire even more teenagers because let's be honest, they are cheap and we really want to make as much money as possible at the customer's expense.  Thank you for your patience, now go shit in a hat." :)

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Unbridled JOY!

Just needed to give a shout out to all that is ...The iPad!!  This contraption has given me complete and total joy all the days of my life!!!  Well, since June at least. :)  He/She is my buddy, my pal, my love.  She is with me daily, when life is good, when things are tough, letting me know that 'Hey Shari, it's all gonna be ok.  I'm here for you.'  We read together, listen to music, play games, watch movies, chat, you know...all that stuff that bff's do.  She has changed my life, and for that I am grateful.  Thank you Apple gods for creating my special friend.  If I had the money, I would give one to every stay-at-home mom I know!  She completes me.  (I guess I've decided she's a "she".  Now if only I could think of a name.)  To be continued...

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Buzz Dilemma.

Kaitlyn has been such a sweet girl lately and yesterday she asked if she could have a Buzz Lightyear doll.  We watch that movie DAILY and she has the Jessie that she loves to play with.  So today we go to Target and they have crappy little Buzz for $6 and AWESOME Buzz for $35.  So after deep reflection, we get Big Awesome Buzz.

Here's the dilemma...the kids hovered over me until I got him out of all that packing, and now Adam won't turn him loose.  He LOVES HIM!  I'm talkin' pure. man. love.  Hugs him.  Won't put him down.  And when Kaitlyn makes a move towards him he puts a protective move on Buzz and fakes left, then runs past her.

It says the toy is for 4 years and older.  There are no loose parts and even if something came loose, all the parts are pretty big.  I don't see where there would be a choking hazard.  Plus, he's going to play with Kaitlyn's so what's the diff if I go buy him one?  I think I'm going to have to or K will never get to play with it.  She's sleeping w/ him now.  (Ok, that was weird.  Forget I said that.) ...I need to go lie down.