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Monday, May 24, 2010

I miss cooking.

I know, I know, don't hate me!  But I do.  It hit me yesterday that part of my frustration w/ little Adam is that I don't have the time to cook or plan out my meals like I used to.  I feel like I throw stuff together last minute.  It's still healthy, but just not fun for me.

My girls know me, I can become obsessed w/ a cookbook and recipes and go on cooking binges for days talking of nothing but soup!  Hypothetically speaking, of course. ;) Ok, so there's a story there but I'll save that for another day. But all this baby business has just been cramping my style for a long time now (love you Adam, just being honest), add in the pregnancy from hell and I just miss doing the stuff that makes me, ME!

So just a little venting for today...maybe tomorrow, too.  Having a rough time of it in Mommyland lately and needing something to get me back in touch w/ myself & relieve some of this stress.  It seems like at the end of the day I'm desperately trying to find something to take this feeling away.  This feeling like I can't catch my breath.  (I had it so badly the other day and then realized I was actually having an asthma episode. lol  I literally couldn't breathe.)  Some days it is a walk or run, some days a glass of wine.  I'm trying to stay away from cake.  Cake would be bad.  It would be sooooo good, but then it would be bad.  Have you ever felt like you were crawling out of your skin?  And I just want to scream, or run, or run screaming until it goes away.  I get it to go away, usually, right before I go to bed so I can get up and do it all over again.

Ok, this has gotten way too heavy & I've gone to the dark, twisty place.   Someone's screaming, and it isn't me (I checked), so that's my cue.  Muah!

1 comment:

  1. Well Shari Shar, I started my own little random musings...about food and cooking. So why don't you be a "deer" and follow me. :0 I'm a semi-erratic blogger, but I'm working on it. Oh, and there's some great SOUP!