What fresh hell is this?

Apparently we've entered a new "phase".  We have a "situation".  An "issue".  (For some reason I'm visualizing Joey from Friends and his "air quotes", then Ms. Chanandler Bong saying, "You're doing it wrong, Joe."  Ok, back to hell...this morning at the crack o' early, I felt this little hand patting my bed.  Patting...patting...I wondered what it was but was so tired that I said a quick prayer that the situation would resolve itself.  That is, until I heard, "Morning Sissy!"  Ummm, WTH?  Mr. Man and I sat straight up in bed, dazed and confused.  Holyyyyy CRAP!!  Bubba had jumped out of his crib!  I mean, he's almost 4 feet tall...it was bound to happen.  But I had put if off for so long, and honestly, I'm just not ready.  Not ready.  I just wanted him to stay in that crib until he was like 3 1/2 and his little legs were sticking out through the slats because he was so tall.  I need this boy CONTAINED!!  Now, what to do!?!  He has given me his 2 1/2 year old promise, more like a "pwomise", that he will never jump out again...and I think he means it.  Ok, he doesn't mean it, but it's early and I'm tired and have I mentioned that I'm not ready to deal with this?  He's only been sleeping through the night for 3 months, which mean I HAVE ONLY BEEN SLEEPING THROUGH THE NIGHT FOR 3 MONTHS!

I can hear my mother's voice in my head, frantic that he will hurt himself jumping out of the crib.  This does not concern me considering he jumps from the top of the slide without a problem. (Maybe a non-life threatening injury will slow him down!  I KID!  (not really)  Did I just quote within a quote?  Party foul!  Sorry!)   My boy is very athletic, so maybe this mama just needs to have faith in his athletic abilities and write this off to just a "whim"...it's a "fluke", right?  He probably won't do it again.  Just wanted to see if he could.  Yeah, that's it.  That's all this was.  Just curiosity, and now that he knows he can, he will have no interest in doing it again.  Whew.  Thanks, guys.  I was scared there for a second.  #denial  #prayforme