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Sunday, June 12, 2011

Hot Potato...

You wanna piss off a mom? Give her some french fries hot out of the fryer!! There is not a mom out there who doesn't know what I am talking about! You decide to treat the kids...be the hero...you know, try to be Dad for a few minutes. So you hit the drive thru, wait for what seems like an eternity while listening to your restless 2 year old scream and his 5 year old sister yell at him to stop screaming, just knowing that quiet bliss is but moments away. And then they give you the bag. As you sit it on your lap and feel the pangs of 2nd degree burns, you know this is NOT gonna be good. Nothing like sitting in the parking lot, with 60 degree temps outside, and the a/c blasting as you hold up french fries to the vent as those mother effers are burning the flesh right off of your fingers. Enduring the confused looks of men who drive by. LOOK AWAY, BUDDY. YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IT MEANS TO BE A MOTHER. The sheer depth, range and scope of ridiculous crap that we have to deal with. It is a constant bombardment on the brain of creativity. How to get through the day with the least amount of screams and tantrums, and the kids act up sometimes as well. (ba-dum-BUM!) :)

But seriously, fresh is NOT GOOD when it comes to children. Give me the fries that have been sitting out for 10 minutes or so. Nothing thrills me like a lukewarm nugget! I am ashamed to admit that I know not to go through the drive-thru at 11:30am. EVERYTHING is hot!! If you are sitting there judging me, then you are a) not a mother, b) you have a huge support system, or c) just a judgemental b-hole who needs to spend a few hours with my youngest. :) I know, you don't have to say it...I'm sweet.

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